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FEAR of Not Having Enough Money

IMG_3505Not many conversations include feelings around financial insecurity.  My friends, my family, and myself appear to be pretty tight lipped on the subject.

Not necessarily not having enough money or being broke but the fear of financial insecurity, FEAR.  Or the thought of “What if?”

What do I want money for?  Of course, for survival – food, home, movement, pay for my wants.  Oh yeah, I want a new guitar.

What is the truth right now about my financial status?  Today I have eaten more than my share, woke up dry even though it was raining outside, earned some bucks and thought about buying a birthday gift for a 40 year old.  Something special, in fact.

How do I behave around money?  Sometimes, grandiose.  Me, I have no credit card debt.  I am cautious, conscientious and also, known to be cynical.  I don’t buy lottery tickets but pay careful attention to my partner’s.  I figure he’ll share or leave me quickly.

What am I afraid of?  I fear an imagined situation such as lost income from a job – injury – mental incapacity – not enough skill or some deadly disease.  Somewhere I am thinking “Can I take care of myself?”  “What happens if I am alone?”

If I believe my own projections, I have FEAR of financial ineptitude.

For me, an act of faith and trust is required to not hold on too tightly, to be generous when moved, to share me and know I will be supported with love and MONEY.

Energy moves in many forms.